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Are your twins future proof?

Are your twins future proof? Are they going to be able to function confidently  as individual adults as well as being part of a matching pair? Can they find a way to be a set of twins but also a husband / wife, a partner, a mum/dad, a colleague without their twin always being there or them putting the needs of their twin first?

Twins might be born at the same time and develop in the same womb but do they really need to be together 24/7? I believe not. They need to be able to function separately ~ to form close relationships with other people, do the things that make them happy and see themselves as individuals. Naturally they are going to spend lots of time together growing up but it’s important as a parent of twins to help them develop the skills they need moving forward to be able to cope on their own as well as being part of a twin group.

If at all possible allow the twins to regularly spend time one to one with an adult, either yourself or your partner. This helps them to find their own feet, and also gives them something to talk to their twin about when they get back together. If they have interests that their twin does not share this is fine, it is ok for twins to have different interests and make different friends. It’s also ok for them to go to parties without their twin or visit friends as an individual, without the other twin always having to tag along.

They may at first miss each other and this is to be expected (although not all twins find it difficult) but they can receive support from yourself and other adults so that they eventually feel comfortable to be separate for periods of time.

It is also ok for twins to have separate beds, separate rooms if you have the space and this suits you and them. I’ve even heard of twins going to separate high schools ,but this may not suit all twins.

It helps them if you and other people close to them see them as two people who (perhaps) share a close bond not as one person in two bodies.



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Feeling your twin babies move.

When did you feel your twins move for the first time?
When did you feel your twins move for the first time?

Feeling your twin babies move.

When will I feel my twin babies move?

If it is your first pregnancy you might feel them move for the first time from around 17-18 weeks, maybe a little later. If you’ve already had children you might feel them move sooner than this ~ from around 14 weeks. It is not unheard of for you to not feel them move for the first time until 20+ weeks. It can be hard when it says in pregnancy and parenting books that you might feel them move from around 17 weeks but you haven’t felt yours move for the first time until later. If you’re worried at all please contact your midwife for reassurance.

How will I know if what I am feeling is my twin babies moving?

When you feel your babies move for the first time it may feel like a tiny ripple or even a slight touch of wind or perhaps a mildly fizzy feeling. You may at first only feel a gentle fluttering or it might take you a few attempts to realise that what you are feeling is them moving inside you. Eventually it will get more obvious as to what is happening and you might even be able to see the movement as you look at your abdomen. As time goes on the kicks will be more prominent and there’s nothing more rewarding than snuggling up to daddy and allowing him to feel them kick him too. (Why should he miss out on all the ‘fun’? :D)

Their movements may form a pattern, soon you’ll establish what a normal days movements is like for you.

You may also start to notice a pattern emerging. They might have times when they’re awake and active, and other times when they’re less active or you don’t notice their actions so much. Figure out what is ‘normal’ for you and your babies.

I’m not sure if my twin babies are moving or their movements have changed, what should I do?

If you find that you’ve not noticed your babies moving for a little while (especially if you’ve been busy going about your day) you might find it helps to lie down for a short period of time and drink a cold drink and see if that helps. If you don’t start noticing movements after a lie down and a cold drink contact your midwife or delivery suite for advice.

If you notice any changes to the amount or way that your babies are moving or you’ve not felt them move for a while get in touch with your midwife, antenatal clinic or delivery suite.  Sometimes when you notice a change in movements it can be that they’re kicking inwards or lying facing away from your front but it’s important not to assume that this is the case, always get checked out to be on the safe side. It also can mean that the babies are in distress or need help so it’s always important to ring and ask for guidance. Your midwife/ delivery suite may want to get you in for monitoring.

For more information check out this article from the Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists

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