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Are your twins future proof?

Are your twins future proof? Are they going to be able to function confidently  as individual adults as well as being part of a matching pair? Can they find a way to be a set of twins but also a husband / wife, a partner, a mum/dad, a colleague without their twin always being there or them putting the needs of their twin first?

Twins might be born at the same time and develop in the same womb but do they really need to be together 24/7? I believe not. They need to be able to function separately ~ to form close relationships with other people, do the things that make them happy and see themselves as individuals. Naturally they are going to spend lots of time together growing up but it’s important as a parent of twins to help them develop the skills they need moving forward to be able to cope on their own as well as being part of a twin group.

If at all possible allow the twins to regularly spend time one to one with an adult, either yourself or your partner. This helps them to find their own feet, and also gives them something to talk to their twin about when they get back together. If they have interests that their twin does not share this is fine, it is ok for twins to have different interests and make different friends. It’s also ok for them to go to parties without their twin or visit friends as an individual, without the other twin always having to tag along.

They may at first miss each other and this is to be expected (although not all twins find it difficult) but they can receive support from yourself and other adults so that they eventually feel comfortable to be separate for periods of time.

It is also ok for twins to have separate beds, separate rooms if you have the space and this suits you and them. I’ve even heard of twins going to separate high schools ,but this may not suit all twins.

It helps them if you and other people close to them see them as two people who (perhaps) share a close bond not as one person in two bodies.



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